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Aussie Willy
05-26-2010, 11:58 PM
Regardless of what has happened, I believe turn the negative into a positive and I am sure this is a golden opportunity to make a change. A long work history is always looked favourably (demonstrates loyalty to a company). But if they are going to treat you that way, they are not a company you want to work for anyway. You never know, you may now end up in a fantastic job for a company you will really love working for.

I agree with others about being careful what you say about your old employee. Toxic workplaces can really f*ck with your mind, having worked in one as my first real permanent job many years ago (and I stayed there 3 years). The fact you have been there so long can only compound the problems and bad feelings.

So the best retribution is to find a great job now. And then if you ever saw anyone from that place, the best thing you can say is you love your new job and work with really great people. I know that happened after one place I was let go from. Saw someone from it in a store once and the main comment I could make was that I was now working for a company where I am paid really well (because I was paid sh*t at the other place).

Eden
05-27-2010, 12:34 AM
BC {{{{hugs}}}, sorry to hear that.
Please, be strong!
And remember:
Sometimes when we think it's the end of the world for us, we realize later that it is the new beginning of a better opportunity.
Good Luck!

dbell1
05-27-2010, 12:44 AM
After 22 years, I can imagine wanting to be bitter and vindictive, but seriously - you were caught, lied, lied a few more times and had a very poor meeting resulting in the nurse coming to get you. I've seen people fired for less. Much less. They did nothing to cause you to open the email and you were offered ample opportunity by the boss to come clean. I'm sympathetic to you being upset, but it's not their fault this happened. And no one else in the company is to blame either.

I've given my fair share of notices over the years. No matter why I left, I walked away on the best terms possible. The world is a small place when it comes to employers, especially if you're applying to the competition. Trashing them online, in interviews (if you get that far) and on a daily basis turns you into a petty rock stuck in a bad place. Hell, I had a boss who threatened to fire me weekly, had me working 55 hour weeks, including nights, weekends and holidays at his beck and call and when I finally gave 3 weeks notice (even though I could have walked out that day) he was so freaking impressed with my professionalism that he offered me a PT job. His partners tried to keep me on too. I've left other jobs where the clients tried to hire me.

Slamming doors is never a good thing. It's all in the way you leave and trashing them will backfire badly.

iloveemoticons
05-27-2010, 01:06 AM
(((BC))) Hope your job search goes well! Agree with everyone on keeping positive and focusing on your future.

overedge
05-27-2010, 01:09 AM
Agreed that this outcome is unfortunate, and I too am very sorry that it ended like this. Good for you for challenging the form and their insisting that you sign it, and for noticing that it didn't have a non-compete clause.

Definitely, this may be a chance for new and better opportunities. I too wouldn't waste any energy at all worrying about the bytch former co-workers and what they might be saying. Instead, imagine how good you will feel when you find another job that doesn't involve having to endure them.

Angelskates
05-27-2010, 01:13 AM
BaileyCatts, I'm sorry you're going through such a bad time. :( But it's over, that should be some kind of consolation. Limbo sucks.

I do think one thing you need to do is accept full responsibility for your actions though. This is your fault, not your company's fault. You do need to move on, but the longer you keep blaming others for your misery, the harder that will be. The people that are gossiping about you, your former boss, HR - they didn't cause this, you did. You gave them a reason to fire you. There will probably be people you don't like at ever job you work, and you need to deal with that professionally. I agree that you shouldn't trash them, it's unprofessional, and to be honest, you have no obvious reason to - I believe they did what the majority of companies would have. They have plenty of reasons to "trash" you and give out poor references. You need them more than they need you.

I am also a huge advocate for professional counselling - if you need it to talk things through, learn some coping skills, or even coaching (life and/or career), find it. Your initial anger, I believe, was a result of fear (fear or loosing your job, upsetting people, loosing trust, being gossiped about), and your lying was probably to cover that up. You need to work through that.

You have the opportunity for a fresh start; take it. I wish you all the best in your search.

Yazmeen
05-27-2010, 01:39 AM
((((((((((((BC))))))))))))))

A small suggestion - whenever a job does not work out, it's a "bad fit." Which is a good way to describe it.

I don't honestly know what you have to say regarding your last job; however, don't badmouth the company. My last boss was the reason I left my previous job; however, I described it as when he was unexpectedly made our leader, he changed the position I was hired for and eliminated my strategic role, which was my purpose for being there. That sounded a hell of a lot better than him being an asshat who didn't want me to have the control I was supposed to have (making him follow rules for our work he wouldn't follow).

essence_of_soy
05-27-2010, 02:26 AM
For any new job you interview for, ask if it is possible to work a day or half day there just to see if the office culture is a good fit for everyone.

Not only does that show you are serious and interested in the role, but it will give you a true indication of the environment without walking into something cold and regretting it in the long term.

Angelskates
05-27-2010, 02:34 AM
For any new job you interview for, ask if it is possible to work a day or half day there just to see if the office culture is a good fit for everyone.

Not only does that show you are serious and interested in the role, but it will give you a true indication of the environment without walking into something cold and regretting it in the long term.

That doesn't say to me that you're interested in the role. I would never agree to this, and I think it shows bad form to ask. Part of having a job is making it fit you as best as possible, horrible coworkers or not.

Asking for a half day to "try" screams fussy, difficult to get along with, looking for alternatives, and just not sure about the job to me. You can't tell very much in a half day anyway, but can you imagine how much that would interrupt the office? What if each person who tried a half day decided the office culture wasn't for them? When should training occur? Employers can't afford to offer trials, it takes too much effort, time and money to train people.

Bostonfan
05-27-2010, 02:46 AM
Sometimes after spending a long tenure in one place, it helps to do some temp work. A lot of people will do that anyway while doing their job search. Besides earning some money, temping exposes you to a lot of different companies, and could lead to a permanent position - at which point you could decide whether or not to accept based on the office culture you experienced while temping.

Really
05-27-2010, 02:47 AM
BC, I know the temptation is great to trash your company, but I strongly advise you NOT TO DO SO. Not on the internet and certainly not to a competitor or on a job interview. It will not hurt them, but will have a horrible impact on you. You never, ever say something negative about your previous employer if you are looking for a new job. Ever. What she said. Your digital footprint tells people a great deal about you, and word will get out. If you complain publicly about a previous employer, or to a prospective employer, all that will do is make them wonder about the wisdom of hiring a negative Nellie. As others have said, you screwed up, got caught and you've paid the price. Some valuable lessons in the entire situation that you should be able to use for your benefit as you move on. And yes, you do need to move on. Bitterness will only eat you from the inside out and that's no way to live a life.

Good luck with finding a new position suitable to your talents.

essence_of_soy
05-27-2010, 02:50 AM
That doesn't say to me that you're interested in the role. I would never agree to this, and I think it shows bad form to ask. Part of having a job is making it fit you as best as possible, horrible coworkers or not.

Asking for a half day to "try" screams fussy, difficult to get along with, looking for alternatives, and just not sure about the job to me. You can't tell very much in a half day anyway, but can you imagine how much that would interrupt the office? What if each person who tried a half day decided the office culture wasn't for them? When should training occur? Employers can't afford to offer trials, it takes too much effort, time and money to train people.

Apologies for not phrasing this very well. Working for my current employer for the day was actually offered to me, not the other way around. I have been here for two years now, and as it is a small firm, the people are great and the work is interesting.

Where firms should be clear is in their initial job descriptions. Sometimes a firm will 'enhance' the role just to get people interested. Having applied for graphic design roles onto to find out they are clerical or office admin is a waste of everyone's time.

Perhaps it is best to ask for a more detailed overview when applying to see if it is a suitable match for your skills and experience.

Cupid
05-27-2010, 02:53 AM
(((BaileyCatts))) - Think of this as a new beginning for you, a fresh start. When you find that new job, you will have a clean slate and you can begin to start new relationships and attitudes with the experience you have gained from your former job. As the old saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens -- good luck and keep us posted on your job search.

BaileyCatts
05-27-2010, 03:20 AM
Yes, I know. I was just angry. I also thought that the few people I did consider friends were told not to communicate with me, and I've been afraid to contact them for fear they would say I was "harrassing" them, but I've learned that the announcement that I "left to pursue other interests" just went out today. This has been my only place of employment, aside from some part time jobs before going to school, for 22 years. This company is the biggest employer in my city, and even in these times is almost considered 'employment for life', I make big $$ for the role I have that I will never make again the rest of my life, benefits and perks I will never gain again, so its a little upsetting knowing as of today I have no income all over a stupid email that YES I know is my fault. I'm still sitting here thinking I need to go to bed to go to work tomorrow and things I have planned due to the date, and am still in denile. And yes, I am fully aware it was my own stupid fault for assuming I could just do what I always did, not following up, and maybe in that instant I was confronted it hit me OMG he didn't really know and that is why I denied it. I really don't know why I didn't just admit yes it was on my screen, other than the force of his confrontation and being completely startled by it since I simply closed it and moved on to something else.

skipaway
05-27-2010, 03:30 AM
BaileyCatts...I'm very sorry that it turned out this way. I wish you well and will pray that you find another situation that will be fullfilling. Best wishes.