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Hedwig
06-21-2010, 07:26 PM
I think PDDilemma's point is that "small and casual" or "$20,000 wedding" aren't a couple's only options.

I think no one is so stupid to think or say such a thing. examples that are given in such threads are normally those that lean towards an extreme at either end.

skaternum
06-21-2010, 07:52 PM
I think the issue with weddings is that the "ideal wedding" IS so marketed -

Three words: Bridal Industrial Complex :scream:

genegri
06-21-2010, 07:56 PM
I've wondered the same thing. My niece's wedding last August cost a little over $6,0000.

I am guessing you meant $6,000, not $60,000. ;)

Jayar
06-21-2010, 08:02 PM
But there is a place between black tie with horses and carriages and a beach party. And therein lies the problem in these threads. Everyone seems to assume there is no space between a $20,000 wedding ala reality television and getting married in a pair of cutoffs in the backyard. What's up with that? What kind of weddings are all of you going to????? Or is everyone just watching too many wedding shows?

Almost every wedding I've been to--including my own-- has been solidly in the space between. We drove my now traded in Pontiac with 100,000+ miles from the church to the reception, our guests barely met the official etiquette criteria of semi-formal which was fine, and we had a meat and potatoes type buffet at the local golf club and a two hour dance with a DJ. It all cost around $5000--including everything down to the attendants gifts, rehearsal dinner and photography. We spent $3 on centerpieces. All of them not $3 each but $3 total. My in-laws spent $0 for decorations for the rehearsal dinner--and it was decorated. I'm not kidding.

Well, you must live in a very inexpensive area. If we had a buffet where I live, you are already looking at $10K. Your $5K wedding never could have happened here. Of course you could have spent $5K, but all you would have had was a dress, flowers, tux for the groom, invitations, and maybe a high school kid taking your wedding photos. But I understand your point. (Even if most weddings I have attended are between $15K-$20K easy.)

mon125
06-21-2010, 08:24 PM
Well, I married in NYC, Saturday night and my wedding cost $6000 with photographer, make up artist for myself (who made me a discount), DJ, 5 hs of top liquour open bar and food, wedding night at a hotel, a wedding cake (gift) and 50 guest. But, we did not have: buffet or sitting down dinner, tuxedos, flowers or decoration (it was not necessary) and we send an evite (I know tacky!). But we were very lucky that we found a japanese bar/restaurant that gave us a very reasonable quote and close the place just for us.
It was just what we could spend and nothing more. Did I want a bigger wedding, with flowers, centerpieces, buffet and nice invitations? Yes, but I could not afford it and I was not going to go in debt. Maybe, someday I will.

Ziggy
06-21-2010, 09:13 PM
PDilemma - sorry I didn't want to argue about who is right.

I would just personally prefer a more chilled-out, low-key wedding and an idea of going through organising and pulling off a typical wedding described in this thread is just terrifying to me.


Sure, but I'd rather travel to a wedding in a beautiful, entertaining location like Hawaii than schlep to the groom's hometown in some boring, ugly-ass place like Indiana.

Of course but travelling to a far away, glamorous place might be much more expensive.

So I guess I am not against destination weddings per se but I think you should consider whether it's affordable for everyone and whether there is any accomodation available in that place, besides the 4* hotel you and your partner are going to stay in. ;)

GarrAarghHrumph
06-21-2010, 09:25 PM
In order to be married within the Catholic church, we have to get married *in* a Catholic church, and by a priest. Since my husband and I were married outdoors and by a justice of the peace, we're not officially married under the church, as I understand it. So the priest asked if we'd like a blessing/to get married in the church real quick, in his office. I said no thank you, because if I'm getting married in the church, I'm getting married in St. Patrick's Cathedral. :lol:

GarrAarghHrumph
06-21-2010, 09:30 PM
PDilemma - sorry I didn't want to argue about who is right.

I would just personally prefer a more chilled-out, low-key wedding and an idea of going through organising and pulling off a typical wedding described in this thread is just terrifying to me.

Your wedding is your wedding. It should be as you want it. If you want a low key, laid back thing, that's great. My dad got married in his apartment, and the food was prepared, as a gift, by one of the other people in the building who was a professional chef at a top Boston restaurant. My own wedding was in a garden, at the university where my husband and I met. My sister got married at a rock club after a gig (she was a professional guitarist in a thrash metal band). Get married where you want, as you want.

My dad's wedding probably only cost $100, if that. Mine cost about $2000. My sister's was probably free.

Civic
06-21-2010, 10:01 PM
I am guessing you meant $6,000, not $60,000. ;)

Yes. Thank you for pointing out the typo.

Nan
06-21-2010, 10:10 PM
Sure, but I'd rather travel to a wedding in a beautiful, entertaining location like Hawaii than schlep to the groom's hometown in some boring, ugly-ass place like Indiana.

Silly me. All along, I thought that a wedding's purpose was to celebrate the two people getting married, not to provide a great vacation location for the guests. You learn something new every day, don't you? :)

Civic
06-21-2010, 10:40 PM
Three words: Bridal Industrial Complex :scream:

Don't get me started on the Bridal Industrial Complex.:rolleyes: It encourages many Americans to aspire to weddings that are "above their station" in life. I usually hate that term but it describes a particular type of behavior very well. The BIC also encourages both the participants and guests to view weddings as a theatrical event, rather than a celebration of a two people joining together in marriage.

vesperholly
06-22-2010, 06:44 AM
It's a lot longer than 3 hours. Albany to NYC alone is 3 hours, and Syracuse is a lot farther west from Albany, about another 100 miles or so (Albany being the point where you stop going east and start heading south).

Hm. I figured since it takes about 6 hours from Buffalo to NYC (general arrival at the city, not factoring in exactly where you're going), and 3 hours from Buffalo to Syracuse ... :D When I drive to NYC, I start heading south at Syracuse and go through PA/NJ.

The point remains the same, though ... it's close enough to be easily driveable.

Theatregirl1122
06-22-2010, 07:05 AM
Syracuse to NYC is about 4.5 to 5 hours. Unless you hit crazy traffic. At least the few times I've done it.

Anita18
06-29-2010, 03:11 AM
So I just got back from my cousin's quickly-planned wedding in Baltimore. There was a lot of "frantic shouting" (as my sister put it) the entire weekend, mostly from my aunt who acted as wedding planner and all-around organizer. :lol: She's always been like that, but I have to wonder if she's really having fun being stressed out 24/7 trying to plan out everyone's actions. My cousin the groom's default expression this weekend when being ordered around by his mom was of bafflement. It was hilarious. It got to the point where he was making strangling gestures and the poor bride looked exhausted after being talked into wearing a heavy solid gold bracelet just so her new MIL could show it off during the reception. :rofl: Image was a huge thing for the entire weekend, since apparently the bride's family in Taiwan are pretty rich and prominent, so she made a huge deal about mentioning all of said Taiwanese relatives in the reception speech even though it took like, 5 minutes. Because they were videotaping it and would send the DVD over there. :lol:

Since the couple are moving to Atlanta next month, almost all of the guests gave "red envelopes" (aka cash) as gifts, and they counted all the money the next day. And yes, my aunt totally judged people who didn't give a lot of money, because didn't they know how much the whole thing cost? :o

At this rate I don't think I'm ever getting married if my aunt's going to be in the picture. :shuffle: Maybe I might dare to elope and then satiate her need for a fancy affair with a nice dinner later. :lol: